No Bed Privileges

I've lost my bed privileges tonight. Normally, when Dad is away, I sleep stretched out in his spot. When he's home, I sleep on Mom's feet. It's raining here tonight, so it's a teensy bit muddy out. Sky and I went outside when Dad took laundry downstairs (we think whenever someone is going to the basement, we get to head out the backdoor from the walk-out basement to the dog yard). Sky was really mean to me. He attacked me and rolled me in the dirt. When we came in, Dad made us both sit and stay while he got one of the old towels from the closet to wipe our feet. I had mud on my feet, legs, belly and back because that big meany, Sky, rolled me around in the MUD. When we came back upstairs Dad told Mom: "Dirty dog lost his bed privileges for the night." So, now, I'm dictating to Dad while laying by the door to the garage (that's where the steps go to the basement), hoping that I can go back out in the rain to try to get the dirt washed off so that I'll be clean. Surely, Mom and Dad will let me get in the bed once I'm clean; what bipeds wouldn't want a wet dog in bed with them? If I don't convince them I'll just wait until they fall asleep then pounce on the bed to take my spot! Oh no, got to go, Sky's coming and he looks like he wants to hurt me again. ECHO, Siberian at Law, I NEED YOUR HELP!

Puppy slurps, Canyon...

... I don't want to hurt him - I just wanted to chase that stupid mutt away from the computer so I could tell you why he deserved to get knocked down and rolled in the mud. When you are as stupid as he is, you deserve to be punished and lose some privileges and I'm just the dog to open a can of whoop-a** on him. Mom came home from work early today so he thought he was in trouble. He got all guilty looking, ears back, tail tucked between his legs, and rolled over on his back submissively, causing Mom to spend 10 minutes walking around the house looking for whatever it was that Canyon broke, destroyed, mutilated, tipped over or chewed up. Of course she found nothing, because he had done nothing. But, he's too stupid to realize he didn't do anything wrong. Because of this, Mom ended up getting started on her rose bush trimming 10 minutes later than she planned. This is why Canyon deserved to get what he got.

Kisses, Sky...

... Okay, it's the referee's turn. I didn't see any of it happen. When Mom came home from work, I was asleep on my throne. When they went outside; I was asleep on my throne; but it's my job as referee to determine who wins the fight. Sky wins because Canyon is annoying. Off to the closet I go....it's thunderstorming!

Woo woo, Kelsey Ann