You've GOT to be kidding me

We always get our food in a particular order. Me, Sky, then the Annoying One. Then we get our water in the same order. Tonight, there was a bit of change to the routine. Dad measured out the dry food, then Mom brought in a can of wet food from the room where they park the Queen's chariot (it's a white Pontiac Sibe Vibe). Dad split it up three ways and mixed it into the dry food. What a special treat!!! After we got our food with the extra special add on, we got our water. So, I was happily gobbling my food down by the time Sky got his add on. When Dad got to Sky, he whispered that Sky was going to get more wet food then the rest of us because he was the "best dog in the world." What a pile of horse...

Some of you who know me well, may be thinking, 'wait, I thought Kelsey had gone deaf...' Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, but only if you promise not to tell Mom and Dad. I can hear. It's not as easy as it used to be, but I hear what I want to when I need to. I've learned over eight long years that a doggy should hear what she wants to hear so that she doesn't have to follow silly human commands like "sit," "come," "shake," "lay down," "heel," and "stay." By pretending I don't hear, I get out of this mindless obedience to humans.

Now, what I'm trying to figure out is why Dad would think Sky is the "best dog in the world." So, I'm going to present my list of reasons why he's not:

1) No throne like mine, so he has to spend all of his free time in the living room with the humans, sitting by their sides, and getting pet.

2) Unrelenting obedience to every command that they give. Can anyone say STUPID?

3) When he takes treats, he doesn't try to bite fingers off along with treats - fingers taste good too.

4) No woo-woos, no harooos, no woofs - hardly any noise from him at all. Everydoggy knows that huskies should make a lot of noise.

5) He was shocked into submission by a training collar when he walks, so he's forgotten how to pull with all of his might like an extra-large husky should pull his humans down the street

6) Allows the little biped to do as she pleases with him, including: ear pulling, leg pulling, tail pulling and rides, oh, and head jumping (trust me....she got in trouble for that one). He never gets upset about any of this like a proper doggy should.

I hope everydoggy can understand my frustrations with this......I mean really....I was here first! I never ran away...remember Sky has run away 3 times....2 of them overnight! So, who really is the "better" dog????

Woo woo, Kelsey Ann

(I'm getting off my throne now and going back to bed)