Thursday, September 20, 2007

You've GOT to be kidding me

We always get our food in a particular order. Me, Sky, then the Annoying One. Then we get our water in the same order. Tonight, there was a bit of change to the routine. Dad measured out the dry food, then Mom brought in a can of wet food from the room where they park the Queen's chariot (it's a white Pontiac Sibe Vibe). Dad split it up three ways and mixed it into the dry food. What a special treat!!! After we got our food with the extra special add on, we got our water. So, I was happily gobbling my food down by the time Sky got his add on. When Dad got to Sky, he whispered that Sky was going to get more wet food then the rest of us because he was the "best dog in the world." What a pile of horse...

Some of you who know me well, may be thinking, 'wait, I thought Kelsey had gone deaf...' Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, but only if you promise not to tell Mom and Dad. I can hear. It's not as easy as it used to be, but I hear what I want to when I need to. I've learned over eight long years that a doggy should hear what she wants to hear so that she doesn't have to follow silly human commands like "sit," "come," "shake," "lay down," "heel," and "stay." By pretending I don't hear, I get out of this mindless obedience to humans.
Now, what I'm trying to figure out is why Dad would think Sky is the "best dog in the world." So, I'm going to present my list of reasons why he's not:
1) No throne like mine, so he has to spend all of his free time in the living room with the humans, sitting by their sides, and getting pet.
2) Unrelenting obedience to every command that they give. Can anyone say STUPID?
3) When he takes treats, he doesn't try to bite fingers off along with treats - fingers taste good too.
4) No woo-woos, no harooos, no woofs - hardly any noise from him at all. Everydoggy knows that huskies should make a lot of noise.
5) He was shocked into submission by a training collar when he walks, so he's forgotten how to pull with all of his might like an extra-large husky should pull his humans down the street
6) Allows the little biped to do as she pleases with him, including: ear pulling, leg pulling, tail pulling and rides, oh, and head jumping (trust me....she got in trouble for that one). He never gets upset about any of this like a proper doggy should.
I hope everydoggy can understand my frustrations with this......I mean really....I was here first! I never ran away...remember Sky has run away 3 times....2 of them overnight! So, who really is the "better" dog????
Woo woo, Kelsey Ann
(I'm getting off my throne now and going back to bed)

8 woo woos:

Katherine and Pippa, said...

Quite right queen Kelsey.

He can't possibly be the best dog because I don't do any of those things on that list.

So you and I are the best dogs in the world because we know how to behave properly. Fingers are yum aren't they?

Pippa x

-- The Mullin Clan's Mommy -- said...

Hi-Woo Kelsey Ann,
You are the queen!
-Cosmos-

Guinness & Shiloh's Family said...

Harumpf! the best dog, we don't think so! Except for the noise thing, okay, and we will do some commands too, at least at school, obviously that dog has been brainwashed. We think a good claw might be in order

The Daily Echo said...

Well. Has he spoken to Meeka cause Dad tells him every night how wonderful and spectacular he is. GAG!
ECHO

IndyPindy said...

I love the picture, hahaha! You are right, you must investigate why your dad said that! Totally unfair! Doesn't he know that you are the queen in your household?

Tucker said...

Sky can't be the best dog in the world. Or even in your house. He's the black and white!

So your dad must have been saying that to annoy you. Time once again to think up some revenge!

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

You are definitely the best dog in the world! I don't know why your dad would say such a thing. You should probably be extra "deaf" to get back at him.

Kat

Koda said...

I think your dad just told him that lie to make him feel better. My mom is always telling my sister how red headed dogs are the best, I know it's not true, how could it be? I don't have any red hair.